Spurs have cancelled their pre-season trip to Australia at the end of July after receiving a more lucrative offer to appear at a Las Vegas theatre.
A spokesman for the Terry Fator Theatre told Footballs Today they have been inundated with requests to sign up the Tottenham squad after they hilariously failed to secure second place in the Premiership, resulting in their finishing beneath local rivals Arsenal for the 21st consecutive season. The phenomenon is celebrated by Gunners fans each year on St Totteringham's Day: the point at which Tottenham can no longer finish above Arsenal.
Tottenham needed only one point to secure the runners-up spot at already-relegated Newcastle Utd, but in scenes reminiscent of the legendary Keystone Cops somehow managed to ship five goals despite the Magpies going down to ten men after Aleksandar Mitrovic was sent off.
"Tottenham Hotspur FC have demonstrated a deep love and respect for the slapstick genre; we feel they are a natural fit for our matinee performances popular with pre-school audiences. We are currently negotiating a fee with the club for the inclusion of custard pies in their act, and possibly the odd rake they could step on."
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