Olympic soccer does not exist, say experts

The future of football at the Olympic Games was yesterday plunged into doubt after allegations were made that it is nothing but an elaborate hoax.

With a mere fortnight to go before the first men's match is due to be played at the Rio Olympics, over 100 senior media analysts have signed an open letter calling for hard evidence to quash the suspicion that men's football has never actually taken place at the Olympics.

The signatories allege that Olympic football is merely a scam by the IOC in collusion with FIFA, orchestrated to justify travel expenses; the letter goes on to point out that since nobody has ever  bothered to watch a single game of Olympic football, the onus is on the IOC to disprove the allegations.

A spokesman for the IOC told Footballs Today he was too hot to comment, but that he would respond to questions after he'd had a nap.