FA in Falklands World Cup bribery shocker

The FA has landed in hot water after sensational allegations were made concerning a bungled attempt at bribery by an FA delegation in order to secure the 2026 World Cup for the Falkland Islands.

 In a move apparently designed to antagonise the Argentinian government,  three senior establishment figures travelled on behalf of the FA to meet FIFA officials in Geneva to discuss the possibility of the Falkland Islands bidding to stage the world's largest sporting event, but were detained at Heathrow airport.

The trio have been named as Mark Thatcher, former tennis ace Buster Mottram and disgraced former peer Jeffrey Archer.

 It is alleged their intention was to hand over an enormous rucksack filled with cash as a bribe. However, they were foiled when they realised they had left the rucksack in the departure lounge pub, where they are said to have spent some considerable time.
The rucksack was found by bar staff, and was immediately removed and destroyed. It is believed to have contained in excess of ten million pounds in mixed currency and gold, according to hundreds of fellow pubgoers who witnessed Mr Thatcher loudly holding forth on the subject.

Thatcher and Archer were today unavailable for comment, but Buster Mottram told reporters: "It's a sad day indeed for the indigenous people of Albion when it becomes a crime to stand up for Great British football in the Falklands. We invented the game, after all. I mean what do the Argies know about football? Those latin types are no good at it - all their players are cheating ponces who no one remembers. "