Theo Walcott's amazing renaissance has hit a wall after the fleet-footed Arsenal player tested positive for drugs following his impressive performance in the Gunners' recent defeat of Chelsea.
He astounded doctors by testing positive for LSD, a powerful hallucinogenic which influenced '60s luminaries such as the Beatles, Charles Manson and Cilla Black.
Walcott himself was unrepentant, telling reporters: "I have no regrets; under the influence of Lucy I was able to see the team as an integrated unit, intuitively feel the correct passes, and realise my full potential as a living, breathing, caring, beautiful footballer. Without acid I'll be useless again."
He is expected to receive a lengthy ban which will almost certainly end his hopes of being included in England's World Cup squad. Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is understood to be hopping mad.
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