Paolo Di Canio is preparing a campaign to become FIFA president, according to press reports.
Inspired by Donald Trump's surprise success in becoming president of the US, the former West Ham and Lazio striker told bemused diners at London's Hard Rock Cafe that he felt the time was right for a populist fascist candidate to make a bid for the FIFA presidency.
Moving on to a popular nearby Wetherspoon's establishment, the Italian outlined his policies to fellow pubgoers. These are understood to include:
Building a wall around Germany in order to stop them coming and taking all the trophies
Repatriation of Mario Balotelli to anywhere in Africa
Roman Catholic Mass held during half-time at all international matches
Gay players banned from all competition, including Arjen Robben, who "runs like a girl"
Di Canio also told an unnamed minicab driver later the same evening that he was appointing celebrated businessman and coupist Mark Thatcher as his campaign manager.
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