FARAGE TO NEWCASTLE?

UKIP leader Nigel Farage is understood to be eyeing up the vacant manager's position at Newcastle United after his recent election defeat in Thanet South.
The Magpies are expected to dispense with interim manager Barry Chump whether they manage to stay up or not after a disastrous second half of the season.
Speaking off the record earlier this year, the charismatic UKIP leader blamed Newcastle's poor run of form on their over-reliance on Muslim and foreign players. He also expressed a desire to return to the core British values of fair play and sportsmanship that players such as Dennis Wise or Vinnie Jones brought to the game.

HEINZ SANDWICH SPREAD CUP QUARTER FINALS DRAW

Mahavishnu Orchestra vs Santana

Mahavishnu are firm favourites to beat the spirited Latin side. Carlos Santana will be counting on a high percussive line plus support from the lively away fans to spur him on to score from one of his speedy forays into the Mahavishnu box. However, Mahavishnu's talented four-pronged attack has proved virtually impossible to contain, and they will fancy their chances in this competition.

ACDC vs Chicago

The Australians will be relying on constant midfield pressure to supply their lone striker Angus Young with scoring opportunities. Chicago will be looking to get at the ACDC rhythm section, who don't like the ball at their feet. Chicago have ample options in attack, with horns on the wings and keyboards through the middle, and look the more likely to edge this one.

Iron Maiden vs Weather Report

An interesting tie as the East End rockers, whose relentless pace and twin-guitar striking partnership finds them unbeaten so far, face a new challenge against Weather Report's "total football". The visitors could cause an upset with their fluid strikerless passing game led by sweeper Joe Zawinul.

Velvet Underground vs U2

Clash of the minnows in black as the sideways-passing non-leaguers take on long-ball specialists U2. Questions have been asked of the Velvets keeper Mo Tucker, who is said to be incapable of catching the ball.